This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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