I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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