He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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