laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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