the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
