Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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