so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
