I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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