walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
