I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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