What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
