Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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