i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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