we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
