In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
