hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Can I color on your dick again?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
