she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
