I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
