# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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