I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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