if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I cut my penus on the lid.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
