Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
