If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
