Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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