I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
