last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
