Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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