Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
