I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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