I can tuck mytits in my pants
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
