We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
