i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize