I didn't shave. On purpose
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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