I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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