Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Welp...herpes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
