the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
