so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
