"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Who died my cat blue again?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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