Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
