What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You ruined the universe
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
