Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
