Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
