he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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