just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
