Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
