I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
