You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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