I CAN MOONWALK!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think pants incapable of making pants work
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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