I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
