You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
