Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
