You're so nebulous sometimes
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
