Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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