and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you will always have a special place in my vag
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
