dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
