If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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