Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
