i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
